And the winner is....

*Drumroll*

Bluebella!!  Whoo hooo!!  You won a copy of ''Tears and Tantrums''  by Aletha Solter using my completely scientific method of closing my eyes and squiggling my finger around on the screen.

I dunno where you live though, so I can't stop by to drop it off personally.  So send me an email so I can get it to you (trdonaghy AT yahoo DOT com).

I know your kids are perfect angels, but I hope it has something new and good for you :)

I have found the Hole Grail of parenting and want to give it to you!

No kidding.

Imagine that you have had a bad day at work.  You had a brilliant idea but nobody would listen or nobody understood.  The fax machine was tormenting your very soul.  Lunch was crap.  Traffic was insane.  You couldn't find your favorite pen.  Your boss was an ass.  Your co-workers were idiots.  You came home and just wanted to sit and vent with your best friend.  Then, instead of listening, your best friend starts to sing Itsy Bitsy Spider and show you shadow puppets.

If you are a parent, grandparent, aunty, uncle, nenen, tanti, babysitter, nana, papi, teacher, or any other kind of caregiver for young children, your life will be forever changed after you read ''Tears and Tantrums'' by Aletha Solter.

I mentioned an article that I found by the same author recently.  Well, the book really brings it all together.

The Angel, whom I love with every cell and fiber of my being, could be described as a clingy baby.  To put it mildly.  I could not do anything much at home during her waking hours.  Cooking, cleaning, laundry, having a shower, computerizing, talking on the phone... all nearly impossible to achieve when she was awake.  And despite being fed solid food, she still nursed a jillion times a day too (leaving her nice and plump, and me looking like a string bean).  And night times weren't much better.  At 13 months, my beautiful baby girl still woke up to nurse at least 4 or 5 times a night.

Until yesterday... well it kinda started last week when I mentioned the article.  But I only read the book yesterday.

Last night, after following Dr. Solter's advice, my sweet, precious, beautiful, wonderful Angel peacefully slept EIGHT HOURS STRAIGHT.

And today, I have been getting my work done with ease while she plays happily, coming over every so often for a snuggle or a giggle.

It is nothing short of a miracle.

How did this happen?  I know you are dying to know.  The book will give you a better understanding, but in short, I no longer repress her need to vent.

When she gets upset, I no longer nurse, sing, rock, soothe, distract with funny noises or silly games.  I sit, lovingly hold her, look into her eyes, tell her that she is safe and loved, and accept her sadness, frustration or anger in its full force.  I let her vent.  How ever many times she needs to.  And after 13 months of repression, she has some venting to do.

Nap time and bed time are times when we lie down together, and feeling safe in my arms, she now lets it all out.  All the frustrations of her day.  When she feels better, she happily and peacefully drifts off to sleep...  and STAYS that way.

Some Attachment Parenting folks might not agree with this approach.  Indeed, when I started following the advice of AP resources online, calming and soothing her cries was more of the focus.  But I actually feel more attached and connected to the Angel when she vents with me.  W  She is beginning to really trust me with her sadness, fear and anger.  She now knows that I will listen and accept her, unconditionally, validating her feelings.  Good and bad.

So, who wants a copy of the book?  I'm giving one away for free. Let me know if you want it in the comments.  I'll choose the winner somehow or other by next week sometime or other.

Wanna free NICE bag?

I found out about this from Witchypoo and am always up for a new bag. Who isn't???

So while my poor hubby is dead asleep on the couch, I am passing this onto you.

Handbag Planet is launching their new website and they're giving away 24 bags in 24 hours to celebrate. Just click here and you're in!

The bags are pretty nice too.

With love from Moi.

And the winner is...

BEANS! YAY for Beans! This is your prize! It's a water-colour of the Old Town done by a local artist. The bar I met hubby at is just around the corner on the right :)

But Beans has Estonian friends in London if I remember correctly. So she might have had a slight advantage.

Everybody got the one about lining up right. Am I the only person that thinks standing parallel to the counter is strange? Lord knows how many times I glared at people that I thought were skipping the line; those rude Estonians! Now I understand why they were looking at me like I had a stray booger.

As for your neighbour in the elevator. Well, I've tried each approach. The only one guaranteed to not result in that booger look is avoiding all eye contact. I have encountered the occasional friendly Estonian where the brief nod of acknowledgement has resulted in a brief nod back. Anybody that responded to a hello and a smile would turn out to be something else, but not Estonian. They are a quiet people. Silence in Golden in their world. I think my loud Trini-ness kinda scares some of them, especially considering some of them have never seen a real chocolate face before.

I see we have lots of drinkers in the house! But the first time I ever heard of sour milk for a hangover was here in Tallinn. They call it Keefir. I dunno about you, but the thought of anything sour when my tummy is already upside down just aint pleasant. And Tash, sushi is perfect anti-hurl food.

And how many times have I tried to hand cash or my card to a poor, bewildered cashier. Or stretched out expectantly for my change. Then I remember the little plastic tray.

Sour cream in Potato Salad. And in a lot of other salads too. They really dig the sour thing. Hubby thinks I am weird for using mayo. I had to make him google potato salad recipes to prove that the rest of the world uses mayo. He still thinks I'm weird. And that the ambiguous white sauce... turns out its a mayo / sour cream combo. But they don't use it with the tater salad.

So that's it for your Tallinn 101 today :)

I'm off to papa-in-law in the country in the mornin'. See ya on Monday :)

What's wrong??

Seriously?? Only 2 contestants??? Boo hoo. Are the questions too hard? My prize lame? No, it can't be that... I don't even know what it is yet. Did my joke scare everybody away??

sigh.

We shall see what happens by tomorrow.

Nan, Tash, I know you are grinding your teeth in fevered anticipation. Just a few more hours, mm-kay!

Its Time for Tallinn Trivia!

Its Tuesday in Tallinn... again. This happens fairly often, like once a week or so. Kyah kyah kyah... lame.

So, to honour the city that I now call home, I've concocted a quiz! Dust off those thinking caps, but outside, please. I've swiffered the floor 3 times already today.

He (or she) who hath the most rightest answers winneth a prize!! Something Estonian, obviously. I'll let you know when I decide what it is. And I'll try to make it not quite as lame as my headlining act / joke, I promise.

Okaaaaaay. Ready, setty, GO!


1. When at one of Tallinn's very few-and-far-between fast-food joints, like Mc Donalds for instance, do you line up to pay for your grub:
a) parallel to the counter
b) perpendicular to the counter
c) What line??? The technology is so super duper amazing that you never have to line up!


2. As you enter the elevator at the mall you see someone who looks familiar. Wait a minute... she lives in your building, you've seen each other around before! You:
a) Smile, say hello and make polite conversation.
b) Avoid eye contact at all costs. Studiously staring at the floor is the best option.
c) Give a brief nod of acknowledgement but say nothing.


3. The best remedy for that horrendous hangover on a Saturday morning is:
a) the hair of the dog
b) a big glass of sour milk
c) cold, bubbly 7-Up
d) sushi


4. You go back at McDonalds, because the Big Mac you ordered was swimming in mayo and it all fell to the floor on the first bite. You order another one, this time without any mayo, and then:
a) Hand the cash to the cashier and wait for your change.
b) Hand over your debit / credit card. This is Tallinn after all, and nobody uses cash.
c) Place the money in the little plastic tray. You never hand over cash directly.


5. The main ingredient in Potato Salad (other than the potatoes obviously) is:
a) Mayo
b) Sour cream
c) That ambiguous white sauce that they serve with everything.



TA DAAA! That's it! May the best wo/man win!!