I am a mother

I am a mother.

I kiss the boo boos to make them better.  

I hardly ever get more than 4 hours of solid sleep. 

I don't remember my last manicure.

I know the importance of bubbles and balloons.

My clothes are comfy and often stained.  

I never forget Teddy.  

I make the night safe and warm.  

Nothing I own is actually mine.  

I need to develop the patience of Job.

My heart is million times bigger than I knew it could be.  

I am a mother.

What about you?

Reply to Tash :)

It has been forever and a day since I wrote anything here.  An email from Tash resulted in a reply which turned into this post.  Thanks Tash!!

I'm good!  The weather is mostly nice, so I'm outside with the Angel for most of the day digging in dirt and other fun things.  I've discovered that I love gardening!  Since I now have a huge back yard, I am Mrs. Farmer.  Apple Tree, cherry trees, lettuce, coriander, strawberries, blueberries, sunflowers and other pretty flowers whose names I don't know, but they looked pretty in the pictures on the seed packs.  If they would only grow, it would be great.  I'm really hoping that I see some rewards for my efforts in summer.  It is still a little early to see anything much.

The Angel is great too.  Talking now, non-stop; real words, not just sign language, in her sweet little baby voice.  Mostly english, with the occasional estonian word here and there.  Running and pushing along on her tricycle.  And of course being very very dirty.  If there is a patch of mud within a 2 mile radius, she will find it.  She seems to be allergic to staying clean.  Normal, from what I hear.  Although everybody else's child always looks clean around here.

We're going to visit Prague and Portugal during summer!  There is a possibility of us moving to Prague for the Funny Dude's job... nothing concrete yet...just an idea.  So we're going to check out the city.  And a friend's seaside apartment in Portugal was an opportunity not to be passed.  Yay for Europe and easy traveling!

And we have ducks!  Well we don't own them, but they took up residence in a pond behind our house.  So a couple times a day they come up to my patio looking for their meals, knocking on my door if I don't see them.  They are quite lucky this isn't Trinidad.  I love a good curry duck.

So between a busy toddler, a garden that always needs work, ducks, and a Funny Dude, I have almost no computer time.  And that's fine by me.  I have all winter for that.

Today is rainy, and we're inside.  I'm typing this with my Angel on my lap, helping herself to my boobs.  No signs of that stopping anytime soon.  We both still love it too much to let it go :)

And that's about it! I'm sure there are other things that happened, but I just can't remember now.  Spring 2009 has been really nice.  Friends have been coming by regularly because, as city dwellers, they think I live in the country... seeing as I have a backyard and all.  Fun times :)

I don't know when next I will update here, but you are all in my thoughts.  Your emails to check up on me have made me feel so loved!

So take care guys and gals!  Enjoy your summer!!

I am trying not to be a prude.

I grew up Catholic.  And with that comes all the hang-ups about your body, which they will tell you is a beautiful thing, that God made it in his image yadda yadda yadda.  But at the same time, if you show it to anybody, or let anybody touch it, other than your spouse, or touch it yourself other than when you are having a shower, and then ONLY for cleaning, you will burn forevermore in the pits or fire and brimstone.

Talk about sexual repression... I tell you!

I also went to a Catholic all-girls school.  We had private showers after gym.  There was none of this ''girls showering together and walking around naked'' thing that I saw on American TV.  We didn't even let our panties be seen by the rest of the class.

Then I became a young woman, and the consequences of this repression came out in full swing.  No pun intended.  But the mental hang-ups remained, coupled with the whole ''I'm Fat and don't have perfect boobs'' thing that you get from watching TV and reading Cosmo.  This resulted in WONDERFUL self-confidence and body image.

Anyway, I moved to Estonia three years ago.  A HUGE part of Baltic culture is the Sauna.  You might have seen that Britney video where she is writhing seductively in one of them.  Naked, of course.  Because that's how you do sauna.  Naked.  With other people in there too.  All naked.  But they aren't writhing like Britney.  At least not from what I've seen.

I'd managed for the most part to avoid getting nekkid in front of anybody other than hubby, until last week.  You see, I started taking the Angel to the pool... to swim (duh).  And there are no private showers at the pool.  Only those prison-break types.  On my first day, I was surrounded by so many naked bodies, that my eyes went into shock.  In my bikini, I showered let water run over me and kept my eyes glued to the floor, looking up every so often to marvel at these women who walked around in a myriad of sizes, shapes, textures.  Not so many different colours though.  Estonia ain't exactly cosmopolitan.  But I couldn't get over how they just walked around letting it all hang out!  Shocking!!  How could they do that??

I had to try it!  I would face my fears.  Because I am brave and strong and eat my vegetables.  Besides, if these old women, with the flesh and scars of life could do it without a care, then my 30 year old body could do it too.  I'm no pin-up girl, but what I've got ain't that bad.  And besides, it's mine, right?  It keeps my baby and husband happy.  It looks cute enough in jeans.  And it's MINE!  I ought to be proud of it.  Not ashamed.  Every dimple, stretch mark, sag, bump, and lump.  Mine, mine, mine.

I'm still trying to convince myself here.

But I did it.  The second time we went swimming, I took it all off in the showers.  And kept my eyes crazy-glued / evo-stuck / nailed / to the floor.  Several deep breaths included.  I was in and out in seconds.  They probably thought I was a little mad.  While they scrubbed each others backs.  The next time wasn't so hard.  I looked up.  Stayed a bit longer.  And each time it got easier.  Now!  Heck, I'm in the sauna, chilling, well maybe that's a poor choice of word.  I'm in the shower, the locker room... without wishing the floor would open up and swallow me.

What a big deal over NOTHING!!!!

It helps of course that I don't know anybody there.  That helps Big Time.  There's still some work to be done.

Sometimes I totally get my ideas from other people.

I stole this from Nan who got it from somebody else.  Finish the sentences... or not.  It is totally up to you ;-)


1. My partner is... on the couch.  He is napping while the baby naps.  Smart fella.


2. Maybe I should... go help the kids unpack groceries, vacuum, do some laundry, have a nap.  But naaaahh.  I haven't blogged much recently for whatever reason.  And now I have some time, combined with a tiny dash of inspiration.  This dynamic duo has been in seriously short supply recently.  So I'm taking advantage.


3. I love... my family.


4. People would say that... I can't sing for shit, but I've got great energy on-stage!


5. I don't understand... politics and money.


6. When I wake up in the morning... the Angel says ''Ann... Some''.  She thinks my name is Ann.  And she just learnt to say ''Some'' :)


7. I lost... my way in Riga, Latvia once and ended up walking in a dark, deserted street.  A pizza delivery guy gave us directions to where we wanted to go, but, of course, I knew better!  So we spent a couple hours walking around, still lost.  Then we found a highway? and took a taxi.  The driver took us to where we wanted to go... about 5 minutes away from the hotel we were staying at.  Hubby doesn't let me read the map anymore.


8. Life is... full of sunshine, except in Winter.  I'm so happy that Spring is here!!!


9. My past has taught me... that I can be a real idiot sometimes.


10. I get annoyed when... there is no toilet paper, and sometimes when people see things on the floor and just step over them and keep walking.  The second one is only really annoying when it happens at home.  I wonder if they know that the magic clean-up-shit fairy doesn't live here?  I wonder what would happen if I started doing the same thing?


11. Parties are... even more fun when you don't have to wake up at the ass-crack of dawn the following morning.


12. I wish... there was no more money, politics, state lines, or religion.


13. Dogs... are a lil more work than cats, but more fun.


14. Cats... can be pussies.


15. Tomorrow... I'm going swimming at the pool with the Angel!


16. I have a low tolerance for... empty toilet paper rolls still on the thingy, and empty cartons in the fridge.


17. If I had a million dollars... I would probably spend it.


18. I'm totally terrified of... roaches.


19. I'd rather be... chilling on the beach.


20. My vice is... herb.  but shhhhhh.

Does being a libran make you bi-polar?

Cobwebs cobwebs cobwebs.  Chez moi in bloggy-land, chez moi in Elbonia-land.

I kinda realized that our happiest, funnest, sweetest, most stress-free days, the Angel and me, are the days when I don't do jack-shit other than just BE with her.  Building snowmen cuz the snow won't bloody quit.  Watching Dora sing Itsy Bitsy Spider 25 times in a row.  Exploring the back yard.  Playing football.  Playing Bouncy on the air-mattress... etc etc etc.  You catch my drift.

So now the floors are sticky and dusty with little dried spots of somethingorother, much like the table.  There is a pile of laundry up to my elbows, which quite possibly explains why I can't find  my favorite drawers.  Our diet is based mainly on sandwiches or throw-it-in-a-pan-and-stick-it-in-the-oven gastronomical delights.  Forget blogging!  And I have a child who is deliriously happy... AND... wait for it... dramatic drum-roll... Sleeping through the night!!!  (The black-out blinds?  Maintaining routines and schedules?  More fresh air?  Who knows!)

Yes folks.  My nights have returned to the land of mostly uninterrupted sweet sweet slumber.  A mere (???) 15 months post-partum.  I now know what 6, 7, 8, even 9 hours of solid sleep feels like!!  It was a hazy, misty memory.  And damn you Gods if you even THINK about taking that away just cuz I blog about it.  It is MINE.  You can't take it back. na na nana nah :-P

To celebrate I went out to shake my booty and got shit-faced instead with little or no actual booty shaking.  And then spent most of the following day semi-comatose, jacked up on Mc Donalds and Coke (the black, fizzy, overloadofsugarandcaffeine one.)  But it was SO WORTH IT!!!  I had SO MUCH FUN!!  Caps and exclamation points should be all over the place with the amount of fun I had.  I yapped my gums to anyone within earshot for as long as they would listen before they would find somebody else to rescue them and take their place.  It was probably really really obvious that I don't get out much. hahahahaha.  sigh.  Too bad.  It will take a while for the whole ''i don't see people'' vibe to work it's way out of my system.

If only I had a trusted baby-sitter... then Hubby and I would be able to get shit-faced TOGETHER, instead of taking turns.  In time.  In time.

I just realized this post is polar-opposite to my last one which was all sob sob poor me.  Who remembers that I'm a libra?!?!  

Sometimes...

... I wonder how it is that I can forget how much I love and adore my beautiful baby, my Angel, and shout at her.

... I feel like the worst mother in the world.

... I worry that she will hate me.

... it makes me cry.

... I don't know what takes over me, and I get mean.

... I worry that I might, one day, hit her.

... I am afraid.

... I understand how my mother felt.

... I fear that my baby will feel the same way I did.

... I feel guilty too often

I know it's OK to cry... but REALLY.

ˇ

Every nap time, every night, during the night, mini melt-downs during the day, every time I try to cut a vegetable or wash a plate.  Jeez Louise.

What am I doing wrong?????  Or worse, is she sick?  I'm not seeing any real symptoms of anything.  Does constantly pulling your toes count as a symptom?

Nap time and bed time, which used to be so sweet, have turned into a struggle that leaves both of us in tears.  I know she is tired.  The yawns, eye-rubbing and I'm-not-hungry-but-i want-boobs are not classic  ''Let's PLAY!'' signals.

I decided to have the bedroom fitted with black-out blinds.  And I think I'm going to stop the nap-time and bed-time stories which just seem to excite rather than calm.  We read a million times a day anyway.  Maybe bath-time should be in the morning too.  Today I played this just before nap time and it seemed to help, a bit.  Crying was a few short squawks rather than 45 minutes of banshee.  I never thought I would say this, but 'Thanks, Brahm and Kenny G'.  It made me cry too.  What can I say, I'm a bit topped up on stress, and crying comes easy.

So is music what I need to soothe this restless beast angel?  Lawd how I wish she could talk and tell me exactly where my idiocy lies.  Although, maybe not.  I probably have many many years of that ahead of me.

Reading through some other parenting blogs today I realized that at no point in time over the next rest of my life will I be worry free.  There will always be SOMETHING to throw me off balance.  Not like I was particularly balanced to begin with.  As a Libran, balance is something I seem to be eternally seeking.  Note that I said seeking, and not finding.  I thought scales represented balance.  Although, now that I think of it, they are usually drawn kinda off-kilter, right?  Sigh.  Great.  Firetrucking great.

Ok, nuff ranting 'bout nothing important.

Center, breathe deeply, relax.  Ommmm.

I am an artist too.

ˇ

Isn't parenting a creative process?  It requires that you think about things that you never thought about before, in ways you never thought about them.  You try to get those feelings out, in positive, enlightening, uplifting way.  Wanting to do good by your child.  To help polish the rough stone that is your baby, and release the beautiful jewel that you know is inside.

And it is daunting.

There is the constant fear of failure.  Of doing it wrong.  Of others not liking what you  are doing, or have done.  There are critics everywhere. 

There is the confusion when it is not going how you think it should go.

but maybe thats the problem.. the thinking.

Maybe I'm not letting it flow.

And i'm restraining the creative gremlin that wants to come through me.

It is not all me.  It is greater than me.  I am the pipe line through which it will flow.  I need to be open and connected.

Art is meant to uplift humanity.  So are people.  The Angel is a people.  So am I.

I just need to keep showing up; to do my part.  Keep her safe, fed, warm, loved... and allow the muse to work on the rest.  The parts that I dont know.  It takes more than me to do this right.  I am a part of the whole.

Thanks Witchypoo and Schmutzie for this inspiration.  Check Schmutzie's post for your own inspiration.

Cuz I have shit-all else to say

Thanks Nan for this one:

The Rules:

Answer these questions, USING ONLY ONE WORD! Copy and change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It’s really hard to only use one word answers. Be sure to link to the person you received it from!

1. Where is your cell phone? dunno
2. Your significant other? office
3. Your hair? wet
4. Your mother? far
5. Your father? away
6. Your favorite song? Soca
7. Your dream last night? House
8. Your favorite drink? water
9. Your dream/goal? Presence
10. What room you are in? Study
11. Your hobby? Reading
12. Your fear? Absence
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? there
14. Where were you last night? here
15. Something that you aren’t? dead
16. Muffins? yum
17. Wish list item? heat
18. Where you grew up? Trinidad
19. Last thing you did? typed
20. What are you wearing? dress
21. Your TV? Off
22. Your pets? hairy
23. Friends? real
24. Your life? happy
25. Your mood? cool
26. Missing someone? lots
27. Car? black
28. Something you’re not wearing? drawers
29. Your favorite store? Bookstore
30. Your favorite color? red
33. When is the last time you laughed? breakfast
34. Last time you cried? post-labour
35. Who will resend this? Dunno
36. Favorite vacation? sunny
37. One person who emails me regularly? Nalini
38. My favorite place to eat? Trinidad

Interview With a Vampire, plus some pan.

Not really though.  She isn't a Vampire, as far as I know.  But she is a witch, by the Church's standards.  And that is a whole 'nother post.

Anywaaaaaay, gratefully, Witchypoo herself has provided the fodder for today's post in the form of a questionnaire with things that she was just dying to know about me.  In my mind anyway.  Otherwise I would just post music.  Cuz I don' have nothing else to post.  My life is all of that and all.  (That shouldn't be read with sarcasm though.  My life is simple, quiet and predictable.  And I actually do like it like that right now.  It had been the opposite for a few years.  Cycles and all.)

Back to the 'view.  It started here and then Witchypoo did it here, and now I'm doing it here:

1.What's the top item on your bucket list? Why?

I don't actually have a bucket list. Does everyone?  I thought about it when I saw the movie, which was a highly original thought, I know, but couldn't actually decide on specific things that I MUST do before I die, other than the , again original, ''Visit India''.  I guess I'm a bit more of a go-with-the-flow kinda gal.  Besides, I never in a million years even thought about visiting Estonia, yet here I am 3 years, husband and child later.  Life will do with me what it will.  No complaints so far.  Although, if I could have a say in it, I would prefer my next home-country to be a lil warmer. Brrrr.

2. What is your fondest memory as a child?  

Sitting on the loo with the door wide open as my brother meandered dramatically up and down the hall shouting ''Ooohh noo.. the wind is blowing me... oohh nooo... the police are chasing meeee''. *giggle*

3. What would you most like to learn about

This changes.  But right now, child psychology.

4. If you had a do-over, what would it be?

My last 2 years at high school.  I would insist that I be allowed to do art.  Fuck ''what kind of job are you going to get with that''.  The stuff I did hasn't landed me a dream job either, and I've forgotten about 99% of it.

5. Besides blogging, what is your guilty pleasure?
A box of chocolate chip cookies every night... dunked in camomille tea.  I know, I know.

And that's it :)

Want to be part of it? Follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone
else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them
five questions.

Any takers?

Today's Carnival Groove: Pan in A Minor by The Grand Master Kitchener.  One of, if not the BEST Steelpan song ever.

HaaaaaHaaaaaaaHaaaaaa

I just realized I spelt Holy Grail wrong!  KYAH KYAH KYAH KYAH.  sigh.

Wax on, wax off, wax on, wax off, wax on, wax off...

Ah yes, Presence.  The ability to accept and be in the Now.  Elusive little thing it is.  And I keep forgetting.  But at least then I remember.

(I'm still reading ''A New Earth'', anyone guessed?)

And at present, the baby is making wake up noises.  Thus concludes this post.

Hello Again!

I know it has been forever.  The essential combination of Inspiration, Time, and Computer Availability has been in short supply over the past month.  I did start a couple posts, but inevitably a crisis of catastrophic proportions would arise, like a poopy nappy, and that was the end of that.

Thanks Eye and Lou for reminding me that I am loved :)

So, 2008 is soooo last year.  My first year of motherhood (more love, less sleep); my second year of married life (more laughs, less shaving); my third year away from home (more freedom, less good food).

Onto 2009!  I continue my journey into the realm of awareness.  Fingers crossed that I maintain the momentum.  N.B.  The Celestine Prophecy, The Seat of the Soul, Many Lives Many Masters and A New Earth are definitely worth your time.  Any others I should check out?

My Eureka moment last night:  I can be happy in Estonia.  The reasons for not being so are excuses out of fear.  Get a grip, get a life, get off my ass and quit whining.  Feel free to kick me in my cyber-butt should I regress :)

peace and love.

P.S.  The Angel thought that the most fitting place for a poop was in Buckingham Castle over the holidays. tee hee hee.  My (Irish) father is proud.

Up, down, in, out, all about.

She fell asleep at 4:30pm today on the way home from the mall.  And it seems as I write this at 6:00 pm, like she is down for the night.  Earlier this week she fell asleep at 9:30pm.  Last week saw 5:30pm and 11:00 pm.

Not scheduled much???

She used to be a roughly 7 /8 pm to 7 / 8 am with a couple wake-ups in between.  Now, I have no clue how things will go.  I'm just following her lead.

I'm totally for ''sleep when you are tired and eat when you are hungry''.  It makes perfect sense to me.  But jeez, what's wrong with a lil' semblance of routine?!

So now I have the WHOLE EVENING to myself, and I have no clue what to do with it.  There are dishes and toys to be packed, laundry, general cleaning, my nails, sleep debts to repay.  You know, the exciting stuff.  But... naah...  How bout nothing for a change?

Hubby left this morning to go ride sled dogs for Santa somewhere past the Arctic Circle in Northern Finland.  He said that Rudolf isn't so special... all the reindeer he has seen so far have red noses.  Maybe Rudolf is just a stud like that.  I wonder if he will bring back a Husky?

Later edit:

So much for that early bed time.  She woke up at 7:15.  It is going to be a looooong night.

WT... on Wednesday

It's that time again! You know, where I share with you all the *beep* moments of my week.

I planned everything for the Angel's first birthday on Sunday gone... a clown to do balloon tricks, a menu that wasn't entirely based on sugar, friends from near and far with kids, balloons galore, custom-designed cake, hats and noisy thingamabobs. Everything. Or so I thought. I forgot to ask Mother Nature for permission to have a 'do'. And she had other plans. She thought a SNOW STORM would be more fun. WT...(AAAAAHHHHH) So much for the party. We ate the cake anyway, with 2 neighbours who braved the blizzard to join us. And then built a snow-man.

Google keeps ignoring me when I try to log in. WT...??? And that means blogger too. This post is a fluke.

Hours spent putting a slideshow of the Angel's first year together, complete with sappy music, seem to be in vain. Blogger and YouTube won't let me upload it. WT... (grrrrrrrrrr).

Some Estonian kids keep showing up at my door dressed in weird costumes and singing weird songs. And I have to give them snacks. WT...! Halloween was weeks ago! Now I have no more cookies.

Not too bad a week actually. It could have been worse.

What about you? How has your week gone so far?

Thursday 13. My first year of being a Mama.

In a few days, the Angel's first year will have be over. My baby just isn't a baby anymore. There were times during this year that I longed for her to be older just so I could understand and be understood, but there were countless more times when I held onto every inch of her soft, baby sweetness and whispered ''I want you to stay like this forever.''

1. Mommy-love is the most overwhelmingly beautiful thing that I have ever experienced. When she was first born, it took me completely by surprise and I swore I could never have another baby. It just wasn't possible to love more than one person this much. Now, I'm not so sure. Me thinks me wants more... lots more :) (Relax honey, I can wait a little while longer.)

2. Labour is the most horrendously, excruciatingly PAINFUL thing that I have ever experienced. When it was over, I swore that I would NEVER EVER EVER have another baby. There was NO WAY IN HELL that I would put myself through that again. And that was with an epidural (or so they told me). Now, I'm not so sure. Me thinks me wants an all-natural home birth next time :)

3. I don't know of anything sweeter than my baby's smile.

4. I don't know of anything more heartbreaking than my baby's tears.

5. Sleepless nights suck. You get over it and live to see another day. Although that doesn't change the fact that it sucks. It sucks especially hard when, despite being awake for half the night, the baby decides to start the day at 5:30 am.

6. Sucking the snot out of your newborn's nose when she can't breathe isn't as gross as it sounds. It tastes like water, but slightly more gelatinous. I know you were dying for that tidbit of information :D

7. Everyday I experience more joy than I knew existed before I had her.

8. I have, at times, gone days without a shower; I have often been covered in puke, snot, pee, poop, and sometimes a combination; I can't remember the last time I had my nails done or wore high heels; I am still fabulous :)

9. Now that she is a toddler, I miss my baby.

10. Now that she is a toddler, I can't wait to see who she will become.

11. A toddler is a world of fun, shrieking giggles, silly games, tests of patience, jiggly bottoms scurrying away at nappy-change-time, splashy baths, everything needs to be tasted, cupboards are for emptying, cat tails are for pulling, sweet snuggles, and unabashed love.

12. A newborn is a world of tiny hands, the sweetest angel sighs, itsy bitsy clothes, heart-breaking tenderness, softly curled little bodies, miraculous beginnings, and love love love.

13. Seeing a man lovingly take care of his baby is a guaranteed panty-dropper. (thanks for that lovely expression Witchypoo :)

No, I'm not a snob

ˇ
It's just that I can't seem to find the time to check you out, my wonderful bloggy friends, or if I do, I can't get around to writing my comments. I sometimes get as far as clicking on your link... but then the baby wakes up.... again. She's teething.... again.

And for the past couple days I bin bizy making the invitations for her first birthday party! How exciting!!! Drawing and cutting and gluing and, and, and... Oh My!! I'm in kindergarten heaven.

So now I have to play ketchup. A quick glance yesterday let me know that there are many wonderful posts and comments waiting to be read. I'm drooling with anticipation, kinda like the Angel is also doing atm.

Off I go!

WTF Friday

Last night I found out that today will be Friday. WTF! Where did the week go? In honor of my Eureka moment, I present all the things this week that have made me say WTF:

Only 35% of Estonians supported Obama. WTF??

The fact that this was a defining moment in history was not that important here (except to us foreigners). There wasn't much ado about it at all. WTF?

There was ICE on the car this morning. WTF!!

The Prime Minister of Trinidad wants to spend 35 million TT dollars to lease luxury vehicles for the Summit of the Americas from BMW in Germany. The local dealers wanted to lease them to the government at no cost. WTF?!?!?!?!?!

The tooth fairy now has to pay 20 dollars per tooth. WTF! In my day, I got 25 cents! Kinda like how in my parents' day they used to pay 3 cents for a loaf of bread, with cheese. Damn I feel old.

They say it takes a village to raise a child. So why am I doing this alone? WTF! (Yes, I have a husband, but he is at work all day. He does what he can, especially after enthusiastic discussions about the value of sitting on the couch with his laptop and its impact on the parenting experience.)

The cat's bowl is empty. Am I the only one that sees that? WTF?

I've been very tired, kinda pukey, head-achey, my boobs are sporadically leaking, but the pee-pee stick only shows 1 line. WTF??

Sarah Palin didn't know that Africa was a continent. W.T.F???????????

I saw a t-shirt that read ''Don't blame me, I voted for McCain''. WTF?

In 2 weeks, the Angel will be ONE YEAR OLD. WTF?!! Where did the year go??????? My tiny, soft, precious, beautiful, cooing, fragile little newborn is now a rumbling, tumbling, babbling, even more precious, even more beautiful toddler. But more on that in another post.

I am a wife and mother! WTF!!!!!! (But that's to be read in more of a ''Oh my God! HOW COOOOOL'' kinda way )

So there you have it. My Eureka moments for this week. Did you have any?

And now I hope.

So finally Ye Yankees have done something that the rest of the world fully agrees with. Kudos. Two very enthusiastic and wiggly thumbs up, with smiley lipstick faces painted on them (not the same shade Miss Alaska uses, obviously).

And now I allow myself the feeling of hope; a feeling that I have kept a lid on for the past couple months. Although I did take a lil taste every now and again.

I hope.

I hope that if a country as large and diverse and varying with extremes as the US can come together regardless of any differences to collectively choose something good, then so too can my own tiny country.

I hope that one day my faith will be restored in Trinidad's politicians, and that one day I will have a Prime Minister and Members of Parliament that I can respect, and even look up to.

I hope that climate change becomes an important enough issue in the US for Trini politicians to be forced to take it seriously too.

I hope that my daughter will grow up in a world that isn't 90% below sea level, and destroyed by war.

I hope that war will not be never again be the first option.

I hope that the disenfranchised young men in Trinidad's ghettos will see this new president as a role model, as something worth emulating, and feel the strength they need to change their lives and neighbourhoods.

I hope that somebody reading this will send me an Obama T-shirt (size S) :) I don't care if you have worn it already. I just want a little piece of history that I can be proud of, and that will restore my faith in humanity when it needs restoring.

housewife + blogging equations

bigger house = more housework

new house = i like to keep it looking new and clean

baby trying to feed herself = mess mess mess

I like being barefoot, but hate feeling grit or dust underfoot when I'm inside + baby trying to feed herself + return of cavorting cat who does nothing but shed hair all day long = me sweeping so many times I wonder if I am on the verge of OCD.

me on the verge of OCD + bigger house + new house = having very little time to blog

having very little time to blog - convenient access to computer as it is on the floor because we haven't bought a desk yet = not much blogging done.

1 swanky new fangly ipod touch from hubby = I can still read everybody else's blog but really couldn't be bothered trying to type comments or my own blog entries with one finger on such a small screen.

writing this blog post = me choosing not to use the baby's nap time to have a shower or take a nap myself.

I know by now you are just over yourself with jealousy for the excitement that is my life ;-)

On the other hand, tomorrow = Happy 30th Birthday to Moi!

What shall I do?! What shall I do?!?! Sweep again? Vacuum again? Nap? Shower? Decisions decisons!