Monday, February 16, 2009

I know it's OK to cry... but REALLY.

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Every nap time, every night, during the night, mini melt-downs during the day, every time I try to cut a vegetable or wash a plate.  Jeez Louise.

What am I doing wrong?????  Or worse, is she sick?  I'm not seeing any real symptoms of anything.  Does constantly pulling your toes count as a symptom?

Nap time and bed time, which used to be so sweet, have turned into a struggle that leaves both of us in tears.  I know she is tired.  The yawns, eye-rubbing and I'm-not-hungry-but-i want-boobs are not classic  ''Let's PLAY!'' signals.

I decided to have the bedroom fitted with black-out blinds.  And I think I'm going to stop the nap-time and bed-time stories which just seem to excite rather than calm.  We read a million times a day anyway.  Maybe bath-time should be in the morning too.  Today I played this just before nap time and it seemed to help, a bit.  Crying was a few short squawks rather than 45 minutes of banshee.  I never thought I would say this, but 'Thanks, Brahm and Kenny G'.  It made me cry too.  What can I say, I'm a bit topped up on stress, and crying comes easy.

So is music what I need to soothe this restless beast angel?  Lawd how I wish she could talk and tell me exactly where my idiocy lies.  Although, maybe not.  I probably have many many years of that ahead of me.

Reading through some other parenting blogs today I realized that at no point in time over the next rest of my life will I be worry free.  There will always be SOMETHING to throw me off balance.  Not like I was particularly balanced to begin with.  As a Libran, balance is something I seem to be eternally seeking.  Note that I said seeking, and not finding.  I thought scales represented balance.  Although, now that I think of it, they are usually drawn kinda off-kilter, right?  Sigh.  Great.  Firetrucking great.

Ok, nuff ranting 'bout nothing important.

Center, breathe deeply, relax.  Ommmm.

7 comments:

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I found that by baby #2 I was more tolerant of crying--not unsympathetic mind you, just had a better ability to discern when to care and when to ignore. That doesn't make it easier for you, but know you are not unusual or alone in what you're going through!

BlueBella said...

Oh honey what a stress:( Don't worry, this too shall pass.
I find motherhood to be a series of worries, doubts and disappointments (not in my kids, but in myself). As a fellow Libran the balance is forever saught, but rarely found.
Your Angel is LOVED, and that's what counts.
HUGS HUGS HUGS

LceeL said...

By the time our third came around, crying got no one no place. Poor kid.

If you respond every time they cry, then they cry more - for more attention. If they cry and you don't respond and then you find out there really WAS something amiss - then you feel like the bad guy. Guilt. I hope you're Catholic - at least then you'd be used to 'guilt'. You can't win. But music just might be the key. Mozart. Brahms Lullaby. Beethoven (Fur Elise). Good music. Soothing music.

Anonymous said...

theresa, two words for you; gripe water. haha! jus kidding! :) but anyway if u really want to have a good cry, jus think of me next week monday and tuesday and all the 'gripe water' i will be drinking! i will fire one in your honour!
love beans

Janelle said...

Oh hon, you're alright. She is the first and as such she is merely breaking you in for the others :) Think of this like boot camp, and she is the drill sargeant. :) By the time you get to 5 your ears are trained to hear only the real thing, lol.

Theresa said...

Thanks for the support guys and gals.

Beans, you are a BEEE-ATCH!

Janelle, by the time I get to number WHAT???? HA! Better you than me honey!

Theresa said...

Lou, yeah, I'm catholic. I got the guilt thing down pat! It was Brahm's Lullaby that worked yesterday. And again today :)