The Angel is 14 months old now. She is no longer a baby, although I know she will always be my baby, and I've been thinking about weaning recently.
I know that a lot of people will think that I deserve an award for having breast-fed for so long. But I also know that it is normal and natural for toddlers to nurse until they are at least 2. It is apparently a cultural thing to wean them early.
But as much as I still mostly enjoy the tender sweetness of holding my baby to my breast, I also at times don't like having my clothes yanked and my chest clawed. And how I wish the night-time feedings would end. (That being said, the current 1 or 2 night-time feedings is MUCH better than what we were dealing with up to 3 short weeks ago. ''Tears and Tantrums'' ... it saved my sanity.)
It is such an intimate experience, breast-feeding.
I never expected it to be so emotionally charged. I remember the devastation and grief I felt in the early days when I thought that I did not have enough to feed her. Although that reaction could just have been the hormones I was roller-coaster-riding on after she was born. It was a short-lived issue anyway. Soon enough I had sufficient milk to feed someone sitting clear across the room.
Then there are those moments when she smiles up at me, without letting go of course, and my heart bursts. And most recently, the michelin-man legs and toes that end up in my face are just so yummy. She is quite flexible.
I'm trying to encourage more ''loves and hugs and kisses''. Less boob needed for those. Same sweet smiles in return. And there is always some kind of food or drink within easy reach. She still seems to want the boob though. I guess she just isn't ready.
I don't want to end up doing it out of anything other than love though.
I started off so gung-ho on letting her wean for herself... whenever that would be. In keeping with my determination to be a Perfect Parent. HAHAHA. What a warped notion. I failed to be that from day one! Now, I'm praying that she won't still be nursing when she is two. I wonder how many more of those parenthood-humility-moments I have in store. Countless I'm sure.
Its a good thing this book doesn't run out of pages.