Thursday, October 30, 2008

A scary story for Nan with horny demons and broom sticks.

My bee-ooootiful friend Nan wants us folks who read her blog to write some scary stories, preferably with ghosts. Ooooo, OOOOOO. I don't have a story with ghosts; will horny demons be ok, Nan?

Back in 1999 I worked ''down south'' in Trinidad. Every evening, I would take a taxi to Chaguanas, my home town, and call home for someone to come pick me up. This was before everybody and their toddler had cell phones, so a line at the sole working pay phone was inevitable.

Sidenote: A working pay phone in Trinidad is a rare thing, at least most of the times that I have ever needed it. Like that time Dominique and I shut down just outside the most notorious ghetto (Beetham / Laventille) at 5 am (which incidentally is a scary story by itself). We walked all over town trying to find a phone after being robbed, never found one, begged the manager at KFC to no avail, and were eventually pitied by a KFC customer who had a cell. But that's another story.

So I was walking to the snaking pay phone line, cigarette in hand after the no-smoking taxi ride and minding my own biz. At the end of the line, there is a tall, dark man with a white tam (that's the small hat often worn by muslim men). He starts looking around, agitated. Then he zeros in on me.

''You should be smoking Broadway, not DuMaurier'' he offers.

Out loud ''Um, yeah, ok'', smile. Mentally ''Whatever dude'', roll eyes and make this face :-S

''Broadway is a spiritual cigarette and you are a spiritual person''.

Raise eyebrow ''OK'', and start looking around to avoid further conversation and wish for own car to avoid the weirdos associated with public transport and public phones.

Another sidenote: If it wasn't for this particular weirdo, I would have nothing to write for Nan. So thanks dude, and thank you Universe for making not rich enough to have my own car and cell phone in 1999.

Back to the Man in the Tam. ''Your lucky colour is blue, and your business day is Wednesday. You should wear blue on Wednesdays when you have meetings or anything important at work.''

Sigh, I guess this beats standing in a long line staring at my toes. ''Yeah? What else?''

From here on, my memory gets a bit blurry. There were a bunch of things he told me, but I don't remember them all. So where's the scary part, right? It's coming, it's coming.

''You have bruises on your thighs. You get headaches and back pains. You have a vaginal infection.''


''There is a demon having intercourse with you on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. That's why you wake up feeling so tired on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.''

Honestly, I thought the Saturday crap feeling was just a hangover. The other days, were probably because I went to sleep too late. Couldn't explain the bruises, pains and itchies though. As for how the hell he KNEW???

''It was from a woman, through a man. She is jealous of you. Your light is growing dim and you need to do something about it.''

I think I asked him what I needed to do, or something else at that point. I remember he told me how to get to where he lived because he could help me; he was a Spiritual Baptist leader, also known as an Obeah Man (Voodoo Doctor is another name).

''But you will do something when the time is right for you.''

By this time, we are at the front of the line. He makes his call; I, with shaking knees make mine.

We continued talking; I guess about my demons. I don't really remember.

A few days later, I was liming (that's trini-speak for hanging out) with my usual crew, at the usual place: The Sheppard's house. Nan, being married to a Sheppard, was also there. Of course I told my story. Nan offered to take me to see a friend of hers, a yogi.

Sometime later (a few weeks, or maybe even months I think) we went.

Deep into the Paramin hills of Trinidad's Northern Range.

It looked like something out of a movie; maybe like a hobbit village in Lord of the Rings.

A house built into the mountain. Small huts around. White painted stones. Meandering paths. Huge trees that grew where they wanted, and have lived longer than my grandparents.

The yogi had long whitish-blonde hair. She had that open warmth about her. The kind where you know the person is real. She hugged like that too. An open full hug. ''We were sisters in a past life'' she told me.

Yes, it's another sidenote. She also told me that I will be a writer. And that I should write when I can. It has only taken me nearly 10 years to start doing it.

I told her about the man, the demons, how much I prayed that night, and many nights after, and that the symptoms had gone.

She took me, with my friend Rachel to one of the wooden huts. Nan was pregnant at the time, and decided to stay back at the main house. There was a straw mat on the ground, big open windows; a little bird was flitting around inside.

''You can lie down there'' she said warmly, pointing at the mat, and picking up 2 cocoyea brooms.

Sidenote of actual importance: Cocoyea is the spine of coconut tree leaves. The leaves are stripped, and the spines can then be tied together in big bunches to make brooms. They are great for sweeping the yard, and also, apparently for getting rid of horny demons.

''Ohm Kali, Ohm Kali, Ohm Kali, Ohm Kali, Ohm Kali'' she chanted, circling me, sweeping the spindly brooms over my body, inches from my skin. ''Ohm Kali, Ohm Kali, Ohm Kali, Ohm Kali'' louder and louder, picking up the pace.

''Get out! You are not welcome here. Leave her alone. Go away.'' Sweeping, circling, chanting.

''Ohm Kali, Ohm Kali, Ohm Kali, Ohm Kali''. Her chants began to get calmer, softer. And then she stopped.

''You must be a very strong person to have kept him off for so long. But he is gone now.''

Monday, October 27, 2008

Friday night

I had me a lil ol' celebration of my fantastic 30 years of life, coupled with a housewarming.

I'm trying to get the music list done, and downing my first glass of wine. Do you see why I don't blog more often? My desk is still-to-be-unpacked-boxes, and my chair is a still-to-be-unpacked suitcase.

There was still paper on the windows because we haven't bought curtains / blinds yet. We haven't decided what we want yet. Paper works for now. Haute Couture. The latest in window treatment design. By my 3rd glass of wine, incidentally, I was going into great detail on how to avoid an episiotomy via perineum massage with my pregnant friend and her husband, seen here.

I don't remember, but I'm sure it was really funny.


We make such a CUTE couple! Notice the tilt in the glass numero 4?

I do actually have friends, I just need to throw parties to get them to come around more often.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Thursday Thirteen... on turning 30

As some of you know, I hit the top of the hill yesterday! Whooot whoot!! To celebrate, I had a lovely nap. Bliss. Thanks for all the good wishes, tips, Facebook messages, text messages, phone calls and Happy Birthday vibes that you sent my way :) Every one of them made me smile, and that's always a good thing!

I thought that maybe I would give this Thursday Thirteen thingamabob a try. Surely I can think of 13 things to say about the journey to turning 30. So here we go:

1. Life gets a bit clearer when you are who you really are. Not that I fully know who I am yet, but I am beginning to know her. She isn't half bad, is surprisingly intuitive when she really listens to her soul voice, and doesn't like people who aren't real (ironic huh!). I don't know why I spent so much time trying to be who I am not (maybe I was just trying out different styles), but I am glad that the real me is showing up more often.

2. Relationships are easy when they are with the right people. The difficult ones generally aren't worth the hassle. As I get a lil older, I'm finding it easier to let go of the difficult ones.

3. I don't know half as much as I thought I did; but I'm beginning to learn.

4. No matter what your philosophy is on life, parenting, work, books, art, how to put on a nappy, the best way to cook chicken, what colour shoes you should wear or coffee vs tea, there will be people who will think that you should do it differently. This is a good thing. Doing what I truly believe is best is almost always best for me.

5. Fresh air is always good.

6. Comfy shoes are better than ankle-breakers / circulation-cut-off'ers. Now we just need them to start making the impossible: Comfy AND pretty. Until then, sometimes I'll just have to grin and bear it :-)

7. Partying is fun.

8. So is curling up on the couch with hubby / a good book / the laptop / the cat.

9. I like not waking up with a hangover.

10. Girlfriends are essential. I miss mine and wish they didn't all live so very far away. Writing that made me cry ;-(

11. I am incredibly lonely.

12. My family is the most important thing there is in my life. Hubby, my baby, my parents and brother are my world.

13. Becoming a mom has finally given me a real purpose in life. No ''job'' can give me the kind of joy or fulfillment that taking care of my baby and family does. I know that I couldn't have this life back in Trinidad (Estonia's maternity leave is 1.5 years fully paid), so I guess I just have to work harder at not being lonely. On the same note, no job has ever been this hard. It is the steepest learning curve I have ever encountered, coupled with the least sleep, non-stop 24/7 demands, and hourly tests of my patience which I sometimes don't pass. But I would never ask for it to change... except maybe that she would sleep all night, be immune to teething pain and colds, and think that the view from the floor was much cooler than the view from my sometimes weary arms.

13.5 I still feel like I'm 27. And I'm glad that I am no longer 21, as much crazy fun as it was.

So there we have it. It is a milestone. I have reached it. I still have faaaaaar to go, and if the journey from here on out is even half the fun that the past 30 years have been, I'm in for a cool ride.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

housewife + blogging equations

bigger house = more housework

new house = i like to keep it looking new and clean

baby trying to feed herself = mess mess mess

I like being barefoot, but hate feeling grit or dust underfoot when I'm inside + baby trying to feed herself + return of cavorting cat who does nothing but shed hair all day long = me sweeping so many times I wonder if I am on the verge of OCD.

me on the verge of OCD + bigger house + new house = having very little time to blog

having very little time to blog - convenient access to computer as it is on the floor because we haven't bought a desk yet = not much blogging done.

1 swanky new fangly ipod touch from hubby = I can still read everybody else's blog but really couldn't be bothered trying to type comments or my own blog entries with one finger on such a small screen.

writing this blog post = me choosing not to use the baby's nap time to have a shower or take a nap myself.

I know by now you are just over yourself with jealousy for the excitement that is my life ;-)

On the other hand, tomorrow = Happy 30th Birthday to Moi!

What shall I do?! What shall I do?!?! Sweep again? Vacuum again? Nap? Shower? Decisions decisons!

Thursday, October 16, 2008


"Nobody tells you that if you live long enough and if you survive the inevitable stresses and mistakes, the best part of parenting is having your children in your life as adults ... your ultimate purpose is to get through the child development years to savor the pleasure of having in your life a magnificent adult with whom you have an excellent relationship ... if you're aware at the beginning how this process works, you can make better choices about the kind of memories you want to end up with."
Lois Haddad.

Baby steps

She's taking them! Yes folks, the Angel is walkin'. It will be a while before she is ready for a marathon, but the first shaky but proud, tentative but determined, I don't need my mama, baby steps have been taken. This is when it is supposed to get easier, right? Right? Please say yes!

I'm so proud of her. *beaming stupid grin*

But I don't think it can compare to how proud she is of herself :)

And just in time too. All I have been hearing from my mom is how my brother and I walked in 10 months. And it's still a few weeks until her 11 month birthday. Not that it matters to me. But now my mom can go telling her friends that her grandchild is walking.

She seems to have taken after me though... most comfortable when barefoot. Shoes just seem to get in the way. A sad state of affairs when it is 10ˇC outside.

I don't have a video yet. When she was doing her thang I glanced longingly at the camera perched on the kitchen counter, knowing that if I got it, all she would want to do it eat it. And then you would have a video of baby teeth and drool and not baby steps.

On another note, Alex spent his 3rd night somewhere that isn't here :( I'm still holding onto hope that he will come home.

P.S. I entered some of those fave thingies on my profile, if you care.

P.P.S She is actually 1 week away from 11 months... and 1 week away from my 30th! OMG!! When did that happen???

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Puusy cat, pussy cat, where have you been?

London visiting the Queen?
The row of houses under construction across the street?
A neighbour's garage?
Inside the neighbour's dog?

My cat Alex iz mizzin. I opened the door last night and out he went. With laptop in one hand, squiggly baby in the other, my parents on Skype and a lasagne beeping in the oven, I just wasn't able to stop him.

Alex is where they get the phrase Scaredy Cat. And with the move to the new house, plus a complete lack of any outdoor experience (we lived in the city and he didn't know how to operate the elevator), he must be pissin himself somewhere. He might hear me calling him, but he ain't gonna answer.

I've put his litter box and some food outside (as per the experts) and am keeping hope alive.

Any other tips on locating stupid cats?

He doesn't have a collar or microchip :(

Monday, October 13, 2008

Another tale from the rock, and a lil extra

First, the lil extra: We moved into our new home this weekend! I am currently wading through boxes, bags, suitcases, dust, yadda yadda yadda, with an Angel who is trying to walk, but mostly just pulling my pants down. I'll be a hit with the neighbours for sure.

Now, onto Another tale from the rock, courtesy my brother in Bermuda:

Yes folks,

El Capitan here again with another tale of the strange occurances in the triangle.

This weekend is a long one and most of the trinis were either abroad like Jasen enjoying Miami carnival and Shelly (Safraz's wife) eating out the whole of Minnesota or moving incognito like Michael so it was down to Safraz and yours truly.

We decided that we would go fishing on this very afternoon. Safraz had heard of a nearby fishing spot on the Rockaway jetty. Yes folks, its so strange that not even I could make up that name and yes, Safraz is the same one who made us end up in the choppy water aboard the HMS Sinkeasy.

The sky was very overcast and a cold breeze was blowing when we got to the jetty. We scoped out the waters around the jetty and noticed that there were several good fish about.

We were getting our fishing rods ready when Safraz got up and started walking towards the stairs. At first I thought nothing of it - you see, my rod is an exceptionally long rod and requires proper handling and technique to get it full strength and readiness so I was far as I know he could have been going down the stairs to let something out of his rod!

While cutting the bait to put on the hook I heard this splash...well more of a "splutunk". It sounded like a shoe had landed in the water. Still, I had to look as we were the only 2 people in the area. There was no one around, not even Safraz!

After a few seconds had passed, Safraz's head resurfaced and he was desperately trying to climb back on the jetty but the tide was still too low for him to reach so I ran down those stairs as only El Capitan could but did not think that whatever happened to him could also happen to me! Too late.

As I reached the last stair, I skidded on the moss and screamed "AAAAAA" but fate had a different plan for me. I just landed on the last step but still could pull Safraz to safety.

After I laughed myself back to the top, I asked what happened and told him the only thing I heard was this innocuous "splutunk". Maybe it was the laughter but I still have no idea what he went down those stairs for only that he slipped off the jetty without making a "peep". The man silently fell off a jetty folks.

Perhaps if he had done like me and screamed he would have landed back on the stairs.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Out of the Butts of Babes

A 10 cent coin. Roughly the size of one US penny.

The Angel that laid the Golden Egg?? Our very own ATM machine? The Alchemist reincarnated?

I swear I didn't feed it to her. Cross my heart. See picture for proof that I am not a completely delinquent parent.

Though sorely tempted to provide photographic evidence that I am not making this up for the sake of a blog post, I decided you may prefer to take my word for it.

See! Veggies, not money. Veggies.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Typical Morning Conversations with the Funny Dude, Part 2

Hubby: I think I shall buy myself a new hat... like This One!

(Click here for Part 1)

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

More about Moi

Thanks to Green Girl, I have something to say today. In real life, I'm not exactly known as quiet, so why is it so darn hard to get a post together sometimes???

Anyway, I got this from her. And since I know you are all DYING to know more about Moi, here you go:

1. What are your nicknames? T, Teri, Hoooney, mamama, and my mom used to call me Tessa a billion light years ago.

2. What game show and/or reality show would you like to be on? Since this is completely hypothetical, I would love to be on Jeopardy, cuz to even qualify would mean that I'm really REALLY smart.

3. What was the first movie you bought in VHS or DVD? I can't remember VHS, but the first DVD was Memoirs of a Geisha... crappy pirate copy for 10 TT dollars (about 1.50 US) downtown in Trini.

4. What is your favorite scent? A Bakery, and sweet, clean baby.

5. If you had a million dollars that you could only spend on yourself, what would you do with it? Get my whole family together for Christmas. Bank the change.

6. What one place have you visited that you can't forget and want to go back to? New York.

7. Do you trust easily? Yeah, unless you are obviously full of sh*t.

8. Do you think before you act, or act before you think? This is a toss up, but I am finally learning to think first... some of the time.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days? That I will miss yet another Trini Christmas with my family. Trini's do Christmas better than Anybody, Anywhere. The music, food, drinks, house limes (get-togethers) and the prelude to Carnival. I haven't felt it in 3 years :(

10. Do you have a good body image? I'm a yummy mummy ;-)

11. What is your favorite fruit? Fresh young coconuts with soft jelly, mangoes, cold watermelon, all kinds of berries. I can't narrow it down to 1.

12. What websites do you visit daily? My bloggy friends, Trinidad Express, Yahoo

13. What have you been seriously addicted to lately? A box of chocolate chip cookies and camomille tea at night after the baby goes to bed, and Oprah at the same time. And this whole new world of Blogging.

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is? I don't really know her well, but she seems pretty cool so far.

15. What's the last song that got stuck in your head? Day-O, Daylight come and me wanna go home. I did a lil dance routine with the Angel earlier... had her giggling :)

16. What's your favorite item of clothing? As of today, my new, super-comfy Victoria's Secret jammies that hubby bought on his trip.

17. Do you think Rice Krispies are yummy? Definitely more-ish

18. What would you do if you saw $100 lying on the ground? Pick it up and thank the Universe for its many blessings, unless I see the owner nearby... in which case, well, he should be thanking the Universe for me.

19. What items could you not go without during the day? The Angel's sling; for everything else, there is an alternative.

20. What should you be doing right now? The dishes... bleh.

I don't like the whole tagging thing, so I won't. But feel free to DIY. Lemme know if you do, so I can come check it out :)