Saturday, November 29, 2008

YAAAAAAAAAWN, grumble grumble grumble

You know how much sleep new moms get right?  Well, the ones that don't use sleep training anyway. This isn't about sleep training the Angel, so I don't need any advice there.  But thanks all the same :)

The way I figure it, I'm still a new mom.

Do you know how much sleep the new mom of a sick baby gets?  It is like taking the amount that she normally gets (which isn't much), and dividing it by a kajillion.  Or thereabouts.  You can round it off if you feel like.

Did I mention that it is winter?

One thing I learnt early on about this thing they call winter, EVERYBODY gets sick.  More than once.  More than twice.  Heck even more than 3 times.  And the funny thing about babies is that if someone coughs in the next town, they get sick too.

She's been sick 3 times so far.  Winter just started.  Sleep is allergic to me.

The bags under my eyes look like the big heavy duty garbage bags you use after a smashing party.  Now if I had been to the party... that was another lifetime.

So this morning I asked the man large child I live with (formerly known as The Funny Dude) if he would PLEASE take the baby downstairs after I nursed her and had been up for OVER AN HOUR WHILE HE SLEPT ON OBLIVIOUSLY so that I could grab just a little shut eye.  Just a little.

Eventually he did.  Waking up takes time, you know.  It does one no good to be rushed and all.  

The Angel was less than impressed at first, but eventually I heard her playing begrudgingly, and I rolled over, pulled the covers over my head and literally Slippery-Slope-FELL into a deep sleep.

But OF COURSE, it was just too good to last.

Her cries woke me up.  It's an evolutionary thing I hear.  Apparently dads don't have that ''baby is crying = alarm bell in my soul'' gene.  Which explains why he is usually SLEEPING ON OBLIVIOUSLY while I am NOT.

But I forgot to give you some background:
EVERY morning for the past SIX MONTHS or so, I make breakfast for us.  Fruits, yogurt, bread, cheese, eggs, oatmeal, pancakes... any combination of those that I can throw together.  Hubby usually just drinks coffee.  I feed the baby and myself.  EVERY MORNING.  This is NOT a new routine.

Back to the story.

Hubby opens the door to my short-lived haven and hands over a teary, sobby, snotty, sad, little Angel.  Poor thing.

''Did you give her breakfast?'' was my STOOOOOOOOPID question.

Honestly, if I could turn back time, I wouldn't have bothered to ask.  And saved myself a butt-load of thunderbolts.

''We don't have anything,'' was the DAFT AND OBVIOUSLY UNINFORMED reply.

You see, there was yogurt, bread, cream cheese, butter, oatmeal, cheerios, baby biscuits, fruits, even left-over pizza. 




Nan said...

I am TRAINING MY SONS to not be completely helpless. I hope. So far, they have learned how to open the fridge and put bread and stuff together. Sean still hasn't figured it out, though.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

You did bite his head off, right? You sound like you need a break--hope you get one soon!

Tash said...


that's me screaming for you! Stupid men... Sometimes I think it's just an act to get out of doing things..

Janelle said...

Welcome to married life with kids, I'm Janelle, please to meet you :) lol. They do get better, it's not a quick process and it will feel quite painful. Frankly my 11 year old is more efficient but that's because like your friend Nan, I decided not to have sons that are completely helpless (READ: useless to their wives :))