Monday, August 11, 2008

Tragedy aboard the HMS Sinkeasy...a true story of some "trinis" in the Bermuda triangle

This morning I woke up to find this (below) actual email from my brother. He is not what you would call a wordy type of guy, unless he's had a few, or he knows you really really REALLY well. He recently vacated the warm comforts, home cooked meals and clean laundry that is our parent's home to strike out on his own in Bermuda. Every so often we hear his stories of life on the rock.

Good night all,

I am about to relay the events of August 10, 2008. A gripping tale of some "trinis" braving the Bermuda triangle in search of adventure. It is not a happy tale and for those prone to crying, please stop reading now!

Sadly, the moral of this story is not new - Too much man, too little boat. In economics, such a situation causes inflation...the opposite is true of the triangle.

Captain's log, Triangle date 10/08/08:

The day began with a clear blue sky and a hangover from the night before...thanks Jasen, that house lime was so worth it (for the non-trinis, lime means to hang out). I jumped on my bike around 10am and made for the refuge of Safraz's house. There we re-grouped and headed for the docks, where the HMS Sinkeasy was anchored and ready to go (sink!). It started to drizzle but that did not weaken our spirits...though if we knew it would cause a "Small Craft Warning" we would have thought otherwise. Seven of us set out in that fateful small craft for an adventure we would have never predicted.

After some quick instructions from the owner we set out with yours truly as El Capitan! Having been the only person to drive a boat before, I accepted this responsibility with much humility and excitement.

Our journey began through the smallest drawbridge in the world (yes folks its in the Guinness Book) only the HMS Sinkeasy was so small that they did not have to raise it for us to pass!!!

The water was choppy but El Capitan was both brave and on his 3rd beer for the morning. We made a straight cut through the Great something (I can't recall what the map said it was) and veered north towards the Royal Naval Dockyard. On the way, Jasen my trusting navigator, saw that a fishing spot was closeby - under Watford Bridge - and the crew asked El Capitan to change course to make for Watford Bridge. Not wanting a mutiny, I obliged.

Upon my approach I thought that the water seemed a bit rough and that Safraz's fat ass was weighing down the front of HMS Sinkeasy. It was here that the precarious nature of the triangle became obvious. A huge swell engulfed the HMS Sinkeasy and washed Safraz, his wife Shelly and El Capitan from the deck.

Yes folks, El Capitan was forcefully taken from his ship. Not letting down on the responsibilty given to me, I issued immediate orders for Jasen to assume control and take the boat out of the swells lest the rest of the crew be lost too.

A passing vessel picked up the 3 adrift "trinis" and took us away from the swells and back to the HMS Sinkeasy. We salvaged whatever we could from the water but alas....some did not make it back!

I commend my fallen comrades to the deep:

Name - Ring-a-ding Ricky. Rank - 1st Mate. Purchased 1 week ago at Digicel. Though pulled from the water, his rings were forever drowned in the deep blue sea. His heart still lives on and I will implant it into a new Nokia tomorrow.

Name - Snapping Mack. Rank - Chief of the Boat. Purchased yesterday. I took a total of 10 pictures with him. $130, never recovered.

Name - Steely Dan. Rank - Ordinary Seaman. Purchased Friday, stringed on Saturday, went down on Sunday. My poor fishing rod never stood a chance...round 1 to you mother nature.

We eventually made it back to the dock. The thought of my fallen comrades, Safraz weighing down the ship and Shelly trying to save the Heineken keg are forever burned into memory.

Humbly yours,

El Capitan.


Tash said...

haha - your brother writes as well as you do!

For some reason my blog update notification thingy did not indicate that you had updates - gaso! I almost missed out on this post - double gasp!

Hey chick - hope all's well in Tallinn! (uh, one N or two? I seem to recall lots of doubling on the part of the letters)

BlueBella said...

Sorry to hear of your brother's misfortune, but his story is quite hilarious! He's quite creative - thanks for sharing!